Ryan Conklin Home For R&R 2009

In the middle of September, 2009, Sgt. Ryan A. Conklin left Iraq and returned to the United States for a two week R&R "vacation". As a story, it was second only to Ryan's April departure as the biggest Ryan event of 2009. The facts of the trip are spotty, but based on information from Ryan's MySpace, his and others Twitter accounts, and other sources, here is what I have pieced together.

Ryan arrived in New York City on the 9th or 10th. He said it was a six day journey, traveling through Kuwait, Germany, and Atlanta. So he would have left Baghdad on the 3rd or 4th.

Ryan had decided that he would surprise his family and friends with his visit and so he had not told any of them ahead of time that he was coming. During his days of travel, he continued to use Twitter to keep them and everyone else from figuring out what was happening.

His purpose for going to NYC was to see Baya Voce. He got to her door but found that he was the one surprised when she didn't answer. Without a cell phone, Ryan went looking for a pay phone, dressed in his ACU and trudging along with his gear. He walked a few blocks, found a phone, and called the roommate. She said Baya was at home but hadn't heard him knocking. He returned to her door and pounded on it. She answered and Ryan got the reaction he wanted. She was stunned but ecstatic. Love and affection ensued.

Ryan spent a few days in the city with Baya, busily doing as much as he could fit it. (One of the first things he did was go shopping for clothes. He had no civilian clothes with him.) On the 10th, he toured the John Lennon exhibit during the day and that night went with Baya to the Signature Hits magazine release party. On the 11th, he went to a 9/11 commemoration and then to a charity event.

On the 11th or 12th, Ryan, and presumably Baya, took a train to Pennsylvania to surprise his family. Again he was successful in his endeavor. Family love and affection ensured, but within 30 minutes Ryan was playing Beatles Rock Band at the family home.

On the 12th, Ryan and Baya went to the Gettysburg Wine & Music Festival, where he consumed a lot of wine and kettle corn, one of Ryan's favorite snacks. It put him the mood after that to sit with his family and watch football on television.

On the 13th, he went hiking in the hills of the area with Baya. On the 14th, they again went to the hills, and they had a picnic. That night, they went to the York Fair, in York Pennsylvania. Baya was amused by the standard rural qualities of the fair.

On the 15th, Ryan and Baya went back to New York, where Baya did her usual Tuesday night DJ gig at Angels & Kings.

On the 16th, Baya had trapeze class and took Ryan with her. He took a go at it and had fun with it. That night he hung out with Scott Herman and Baya as they all watched the movie Hook.

On the 17th, Ryan spent time during the day recording promotional videos with and for the IAVA. That evening he went out to a club where he got to meet Sean Lennon, son of John Lennon and Yoko Ono. John Lennon is Ryan's music idol, so understandably Ryan was busting from the experience.

On the evening of the 18th, Scott Herman expected to stay outside for the night, while Ryan and Baya were being happy. This may have been one of the times that prompted Ryan to write, "As for Baya and I, what’s a better word to say than 'finally!'"

On the 19th, Ryan presumably went with Baya to The Bitter End bar to listen to live music. On the 20th Ryan and Baya spent time watching football with Paul Rieckhoff of the IAVA.

The events of the next few days are unknown, but on the 22nd it would have been another Angels & Kings night. We know that following that shift, Baya, Scott, and Ryan were going to watch Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles III, but Ryan went to bed instead.

On the 23rd, Scott and Ryan made the only two known videos of Ryan during his trip. That night, Ryan reported that his trip had ended and that he was beginning his journey back to Iraq.

It was over too soon, for him and those that care about him. Hopefully the time left on Ryan's tour will speed by as quickly as did his R&R.

Ryan Words

I used wordle.net to make a word cloud from some of the posts here about Ryan Conklin. It's a cool tool. The words are sized according to the number of times they occur. I didn't realize I mention Scott Herman so much.

Ryan & Scott Herman On The Bench

During Ryan Conklin's Army R&R leave in September, 2009, he spent a lot of the time in New York City, with his friends and former Real World Brooklyn roommates Baya Voce and Scott Herman. One of the things he did with Scott was learn more about how Scott set up a YouTube channel for his fitness and other videos and how he went about promoting it. Ryan is very interested in creating and appearing in videos. He decided to get some on-the-job experience from Scott by appearing in one of Scott's creations. On his last day in New York, Ryan did an ad-lib video scene with Scott, sitting on a park bench near Scott's apartment.

As Scott turned on the camera and framed the shot, Ryan sat on the bench and sang the opening line of a song: "Sitting on a park bench..." He asked Scott if Scott remembered the song. Scott said he did and that it was sung by John "Mellenkemp". Ryan instinctively said "No!" thinking it was somebody else, but then said he didn't know for sure who it was. Scott replied he thought it was John Mellen something. Ryan tried to help by stating (almost correctly) that that singer's name was originally John Mellencamp, then John Cougar Mellencamp, then John Cougar, then back to John Mellencamp. [The second and third variations should be switched. BTW, he's from Indiana.] Actually, the song wasn't by Mellencamp at all. It's Aqualung by Jethro Tull.

As they continued on, the sounds of sirens blared in the background. Scott pointed out that city distractions have been a bother for him on a lot of the videos he has recorded outdoors. He said his meal plan video took like a 100 takes to get it right, which is to say without the sound of a bus horn blowing during it.

Ryan made a suggestion to Scott for a video that Scott should make. Ryan said he would like to see Scott do a video where Scott plays The Incredible Hulk. [You may remember that Ryan once told Devyn Simone's friend on the phone that he, Ryan, not Scott, was the roommate that had been in Men's Health and that he looked similar to the Incredible Hulk. "I'm like an albino Incredible Hulk."] Ryan said that Scott should do a regular workout video, but do it as the Hulk character in costume. Ryan said he would be glad to film it in few months, when he is home for good.

That was the segue for Scott to announce that Ryan would be starting a new YouTube channel. Ryan explained that besides spending time with the people he likes the most (pointing at Scott), he was learning from Scott more about the YouTube world. Ryan said he planned to start making videos even while he is in Iraq, although it would be hard to do because of the bad internet connection.

Ryan is excited about the kind of stuff he will be able to do when he is out of the Army. Ryan said plans to make some "quirky, random videos - pranks, stupid stunts, whatever makes me laugh."

The video ends with some reality TV, unscripted drama, as they both flee the bench in fear after seeing a nearby squirrel with an odd patch of fur missing from the back of its neck. The video changes from a Scott Herman Fitness video to something from Animal Planet as Scott gives the squirrel a close-up.

Another lesson for Ryan on the unpredictable nature of the video making business.

Ryan Gives Girls Bad News

Right after Ryan Conklin had found out that he was being recalled back to active duty by the Army, he decided that he would wait to find what he felt was the right time to tell each of his roommates on The Real World Brooklyn about what had happened. Scott Herman was the first to know, and the other two guys, Chet Cannon and JD Ordonez, were told by Ryan later individually. For the four girls. Baya Voce, Katelynn Cusanelli, Sarah Rice, and Devyn Simone, Ryan decided to tell them all at once that evening.

The girls were playing cards at the card table, as they did most nights. On this night, they were discussing having plaster casts made of their breasts to support the breast cancer awareness organization "Keep A Breast". The atmosphere was light as Katelynn told Baya, "Listen, you have the nicest t|ts in the house which means that you are subject to open groping." Baya, laughingly disagreed, screaming, "Nooo!" Sarah commented that she felt that her cast did not do her breasts "justice".

It was at this moment that Ryan felt he was ready to share his bad news. He asked Devyn to pause from dealing the next hand and said he wanted to let them know about the figurative "ass wagon" that had struck him that morning. The girls didn't know what he meant by that, but it got their attention.

Ryan explained that he had been called by his family that morning and told that in the mail he had received his involuntary invitation to return to active duty and the mission in Iraq. So that was the reason he had been down in the dumps all day.

The girls were all terribly saddened to learn of it. However, Baya wasn't willing to accept it as fact that he would be going back to Iraq. She told Ryan as she gave him a loving hug, "You won't go back, don't worry, I promise. You can't. You can't. You can't."

Ryan was in a more realistic state of mind: "I'd love to be able to know that that's true, but..."

Nevertheless, he tried to make everyone feel a little better about it, by saying he had no problem going back. It would be okay because he still had enough fortitude for another fight. 

The mood was understandably doleful in the room after Ryan's announcement. Devyn tried to lighten it by asking Ryan whether he had seen her shoe. He was confused by the non-sequitur, but Devyn explained that since he was in a vulnerable spot she was going to take advantage of it to see if he would be open to help solve the mystery of the disappeance of what was most important to her, her beloved shoe.

Ryan tried to be accommodating, but he wasn't sure what shoe she was talking about. Devyn asked Katelynn to describe it, which she did, calling it a "come f*ck me pump." Ryan was visibly disturbed by the concept and asserted forcefully that he didn't not know what such an object would be. He loudly assured Devyn that he had no idea where her pump action footwear were.

Drained by the day's events and the discussion of Devyn's mantrap shoes, Ryan arose from the stool he was sitting on so he could go get some rest. The girls, however, insisted that first he must engage with them in a group hug. Ryan passively submitted to the four-way embrace as they encircled him and cut off his escape.

Given that Ryan provides few opportunities to check him out, one or more of the girls took advantage of the situation to assay Ryan's treasure trove with a little investigative groping. Ryan was used to the interest that everyone has in him and just laughed it off. A little levity for him in what had been a truly unhappy, red-letter day.

Ryan Speaks To His Mom About Iraq

Although Ryan Conklin's mother was unable to speak to her son when he was first told that he was being recalled back to active duty in the Army, eventually the two did talk on the phone about it.

Mrs. Conklin was interested in knowing if Ryan had made any connections with people who could help him determine if he could be excluded from the recall. She thought it might be possible for Ryan to get a medical waiver. Ryan had already decided that he would not contest his suitability, so he simply told her, "It's not in the cards, Mom."

That wasn't what she wanted to hear from her son, so she told him, "Well, you never know." He assured her, "I do know." She then explained that her optimism was based on what Ryan's brother Aaron had told her, that "they always call much more than they need for the initial mobilization."

Conceding the point, but letting her know why he would be taken, he replied, "I know, but I'm in fine physical health."

Mrs. Conklin knew that wasn't totally true and she reminded her boy, "With your knees as wobbly as they are?" Ryan explained that unfortunately that wouldn't matter since it was a normal comdition for an infantryman.

She tried to encourage him to to at least consider that there was more than one possible outcome to the Army's action, and that he might be able to influence which way it went if he had a mind to. With his view that things were destined for a reason, he resignedly concluded, "I have no decision in this, Mom."

So at that point Mrs. Conklin let Ryan know of some of the ideas that his family had come up with had Ryan been willing to go along. She said Aaron was willing to break Ryan's leg, and in the process release 23 years of pent-up fraternal anger. Ryan laughingly said, "If Aaron said that I'm going to punch him in the nose."

Getting back to the seriousness of the subject, Ryan expressed his concern about how his family was coping. He asked, "I can do it again, but can you guys? That's the only thing I'm worried about." Mrs. Conklin answered that he shouldn't worry about them, that they were good. Ryan didn't buy it, but didn't question it any further.

Mrs. Conklin ended by telling her baby, "Hang in there, buddy." He determinedly replied, "You know I will; I bounce back." She agreed and observed, "I know, you're tough -- tougher than all of us." Ryan disagreed a little: "Naw, just thick-skinned. I'm a weak child inside."

Mrs. C gave a final encouragement of "Be tough," and they exchanged their I-love-yous. With that Ryan knew that that which he held dearest would be okay, and he would focus on doing what he needed to do to return to them once more.

Ryan Conklin, On Returning To Iraq

When Ryan Conklin was told by his brother Aaron that the notification had come in the mail that the Army was recalling Ryan to active duty, Ryan was stunned by the news, but one thing he immediately knew for sure was that he would return willingly. Ryan had known well of the possibility of this situation, so he had had time to determine, based on his character, his beliefs and his values, what he knew for himself was the right decision: "I'm not going to try to get out of it. I'm not going to try to weasel my way, push papers. [...] I can't do that.

Having experienced the war in Iraq already, Ryan had no desire whatsoever to return. Ryan is a patriot, but he had seen even at ground level that the American presence had been badly managed and that the civil war in Iraq could not be permanently refereed by the United States. For these reasons, it wasn't something that he voluntarily wanted to be part of again.

He had emotion about it, but Ryan's biggest concern was not for himself, it was for his family. When he came back from Iraq the first time, he found out how hard the dread of something happening to him had been on them. As he contemplated returning to Iraq, now he knew ahead of time what his family would be suffering with at home, and this weighed heavily on him.

His feeling for himself was just complete resignation to the unalterable fact that he was going back into uniform. It was clear that a deep sense of fatalism brought him quickly to this acceptance. It's a philosophy that holds that all events are subject to fate or inevitable predetermination. A variation of this is the belief that the events are specifically constructive in nature to bring about certain ends. As Ryan put it, "Whatever happens, happens for a reason. So there's a reason for this. I don't know it yet; I don't know what it is about. But whatever happens, so be it."

Nevertheless, even in the absence of fate, Ryan made it clear that he had an unquestionable feeling of obligation, not only to fulfill his eight year commitment, but also as an American citizen to answer his country's call of duty. "The nation calls on me again, you d@mn well know I'm going to do it. That's just the way I am and that's just the way the military is. I'm not going to fuss about it. I'm not going to try to get out of it and complain. [...] I'm going to do it and I'm going to do my job d@mn well just like I did the last time."

With determination and a smile, Ryan said, "Nobody can get me down. I'm Ryan." Then he expressed his usual tag line, now uttered with a burdened weariness: "I'm happy," which he followed with a more candid melancholy: "...for the most part."

Scott Herman To The Rescue

When Ryan Conklin described the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR), he referred to it as being like a lottery. Soldiers in the pool could be selected to return to active duty without warning that they were potentially next in line. For a soldier receiving notice that they had been recalled, it may appear to them that they were the recipients of a great deal of misfortune. Certainly in Ryan's case, with the timing of his recall, it appeared to be a major stroke of bad luck.

However, there was one fortunate event related to Ryan's recall. After he had gotten the message over the phone from his brother Aaron, Ryan walked out of phone room at The Real World Brooklyn house still in shock and steeped with emotion, thinking about how devastating this experience was for his parents. Sadly, Ryan was away from his family and long-time friends and didn't have the kind of support that such people provide and that Ryan needed at that moment. The stoke of luck for Ryan was that of all the roommates, Scott Herman was the one that was there at the time to give him comfort.

As Ryan told Scott what had just transpired, Scott, as the kind of person that he is, was able to remain steady, but compassionate, focusing fully on what Ryan needed at the moment to deal with the situation. Scott didn't complicate matters by being emotional himself, or talking about how the news made him feel, but instead stayed squarely on trying to help Ryan. Using skills that served him well as a personal trainer, Scott supportingly engaged Ryan in conversation to find out, given the unique circumstance, what do you need, what I can say or do to help you. With such heart-felt consoling, Scott was able to lead Ryan away from tears to a more thoughtful state of figuring out what his next steps would be.

Would that we all would have a friend of the highest quality like Scott Herman.

Ryan's Recall

One of the most emotional scenes on television in 2009 was the gut-wrenching phone call that Aaron Conklin made to his little brother Ryan, to break the news that Ryan had been recalled back to Army active duty and back to Iraq. 

Ryan Conklin hadn't spoken to his brother for awhile, and because Aaron wasn't sounding like himself, Ryan wasn't sure who at first was calling. When he realized it was Aaron, Ryan thought it was a social call and went into what he had been doing lately, like marching in the Veterans' Day parade and going to an IAVA gala. As he paused, he heard his brother trying to speak, but could tell Aaron was having great difficulty doing so. Ryan was understandably confused.

Finally Aaron was able to choke out, "You got that packet in the mail that you've been dreading." Not understanding, Ryan asked what it said. Aaron then said the words that Ryan had hoped he would never hear: "You have to report for active duty."

Ryan immediately went into denial mode, and repeatedly yelled at Aaron to shut up, thinking, hoping, that this was just a terrible joke.

With insistence, Aaron was able to convince Ryan that it was true. The packet had arrived two days before, and since that moment his family had been suffering through when and how to tell Ryan of its contents. His parents were too distraught with grief to even try to speak to Ryan, so it fell about Aaron to place the call. Stunned, Ryan sat back and quietly asked to hear the rest of the message.

Aaron read through all of the details while Ryan tried to take it in. Aaron got to the part that said the recall was part of Operation Iraqi Freedom, and for Ryan that was the crushing blow. It meant that Ryan would be returning to the place that was the source of bitter memories.

Eventually Ryan's great inner strength came to the fore and he went into circumspect acceptance of what had befallen on him. But then his thoughts considered the others in his life and how this turn of events would affect them. For himself, he could be resolute, but when it came to thinking about the pain that those he loved would feel, Ryan became very troubled in spirit.

His distress was made worse as Aaron got to heart of their mother's anguish. Aaron tried to remind Ryan of something that he had said he would do if he was ever recalled. Aaron didn't want to say it explicitly as the call was being recorded, so he tried to nudge Ryan into remembering what he had threatened to do. It appeared that it had something to do with Ryan harming himself. Aaron said the family didn't want Ryan doing anything irrational.

Ryan made a noise indicating he saw the thought of himself doing something irrational as preposterous. He calmly, but emphatically reassured Aaron, "That's not me."

Doing his duty, Ryan put on his brave face and gave a chuckle. But all the while his heart was heavy, knowing that his mom and dad were sick with grief and wondering what would happen to their little boy.

Ryan Opens His Shell A Little

During The Real World Brooklyn, it was clear that Ryan Conklin was conflicted about revealing details about his experience as a soldier in Iraq. The first sense of it was when he didn't want to mention his veteran status too soon to his roommates, because he was concerned that they would prejudge him as being the stereotype of a veteran with "problems". In fact, he did tell them early on about being a veteran, and as time went on, he answered a lot of questions from the roommates and guests about some of his experiences as infantryman in Iraq. However, there was a sense that there was a lot of deeper stuff he wanted to tell but couldn't, not without feeling like the roommates had the right level of readiness and interest in learning about what it is truly like being a human working and living and existing for every minute of the day as a target to be killed in a combat zone.

Despite saying he was open for discussing anything, he did hold back. It wasn't until the latter part of the RW experience that he started to, as he said, "open my shell in this house." He then opened it at least enough to use some indirect methods to communicate what he wanted to covey about the important part of his life that was his time in Iraq.

One thing he found he could use to tell his story was his photo scrapbooks. He showed them to Katelynn Cusanelli. He felt at the moment that she was the person most interested in learning about the Iraq War, due to her attention to foreign policy. He didn't feel like any of his roommates could really understand what it was like, but perhaps could understand at least the extent of what they could see within the frame of each photo.



Another opportunity that presented itself as a teaching tool was a book release party sponsored by the Iraq Veterans Against the War. The event was for a book that described some of the darkest aspects of the conflict. Ryan went to it just to hear what they had to say, but he also took Scott Herman along with him. After it was over Ryan told Scott that he appreciated him coming. Scott said he was glad to go because he had interest in those things. Ryan said he realized that and that was why he only asked Scott to go.

Notwithstanding the tapes of his roommates asking him about Iraq, Ryan said, "Nobody else in the house really asks me anything. So, you're the only one that actually ever has. I got no problem talking about it." In this case, Ryan still didn't talk about it, but rather made use of other veterans talking about it. In this way, he hoped to enlighten his friend Scott about the unpleasant details that he himself had not expressed.

In a interview after the RW had aired, Ryan stated that he felt that none of the roommates had shown interest in learning about his Army life. Of course, he meant had shown the level of interest sufficient for Ryan to feel he could open up enough to reveal whatever he wanted to say.

It's interesting that Ryan has written that the manuscript that became his book was intended originally for his eyes only. There's no reason to doubt that he felt that way on a conscious level, but it's possible that on another level he had finally found the way to tell the tougher details of his story -- without waiting for anyone to ask.

Ryan Goes To The VA Hospital

During The Real World Brooklyn, Ryan Conklin visited the VA Medical Center in Manhattan. He stated that his reason for going was to find out what the main needs of returning soldiers from Afghanistan and Iraq are and how the VA takes care of them.

What he found out was that, with many soldiers having trouble transitioning back into civilian life, "the VA is constantly trying to do everything they can and as much as they can. And the way that one of the doctors put it, is, 'we don't want to happen to the current day veterans, of the latest generation, what happened to, say, the Vietnam veterans when they came home.'"

Ryan acknowledged that some of the conditions that he was told about were things that he could relate to. He said he planned to get a check up for not only for his knees and ankles, but also for his general anger and for the anxiety he feels sometimes when he is in a crowd. He expected that it would be something he would need to continue with back in Pennsylvania after his RW experience.

Ryan was impressed that there were so many people at the VA willing to help for all kinds of medical conditions. He said he was shocked to find out how wide ranging the benefits are, including medical, dental, education, etc. In Confessional, he said he encourages all veterans, even if they think they are in perfect health, to go to the VA and get checked out.

"Though people may feel alone with some of their problems, and feel like, 'maybe this is just me being stupid,' or, 'I feel like this [(stupid)] just because it's totally unrelated.' (And it may be related.) It's not the first time [people at the VA] have heard that, so honestly, no one's by themselves. I encourage everyone to get out there."

Ryan Talks About PTSD

During The Real World Brooklyn, one of the issues that people in the military face that Ryan Conklin brought attention to is the problem of the strong resistance in many military personnel against being evaluated and treated for certain combat related injuries, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). As an infantryman, Ryan knew well about the high frequency of PTSD in combat soldiers and he was able to explain to his roommates to some degree what the condition is and how it affected people he knew. He was also able to show to the audience through his words about himself, how and why an otherwise reasonable person would avoid getting medical attention for such a pernicious condition.

One such occasion when Ryan talked about himself was early in the season when his brother Aaron came to visit him in Brooklyn. While they were playing pool, Ryan told Aaron that his Army medical packet was being updated to reflect the injuries to his knees from when he was in the Army. He also said that he would be getting help for tinnitus (ringing in the ear) that had been caused by IEDs. Since these were physical injuries, Ryan had no reticence about acknowledging them.

Ryan then told his brother, almost as an aside, that he was going to meet with "somebody to talk to about PTSD and sh**." Aaron was heartily glad to hear this bit of news, but was surprised by it. He said inquisitively, "Before, you were like, 'yeah, it's nothing.'"

Ryan tried to explain that, for some reason, he had considered a doctor's care to be a "crutch" and that he was too "proud" to accept the possibility he could be afflicted like hundreds of thousands of others.

Ryan tried to downplay his going, saying, "I'll listen to what they have to say and see if I could maybe learn, or take something from it." Then as he became more comfortable talking about it, he said, "Find out what's good for me, so I don't have pent-up anger for no reason."

Aaron reiterated that he was glad Ryan was doing this and that he supported Ryan taking the step. As encouragement, he mentioned that a lot of people in Gettysburg who knew Ryan felt that based on their observations it would be a good thing for Ryan to get himself checked out.

Ryan wasn't happy that anyone he knew felt he needed or could benefit from some assistance. Here he summarized for himself, but really for many people, why it was tough for him to do anything about it: "I just don't like being looked at like I have a problem, because I don't have a 'problem'." He then indicated another difficult aspect of the issue that keeps people from getting evaluated, the self-diagnosis: "I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky guy."

Nevertheless, Ryan said that people he knew who had gotten medical care for possible combat related stress had reported that it was all beneficial. So he felt no matter what, he could gain something from it. Most importantly, he had become willing to at least listen to what kind of help is available to soldiers such as himself when they make the difficult transition to home.

Veterans Coming Home

You've all seen the television public service announcement for the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, the one with the soldier arriving at the empty airport (the one that always makes me cry). The Philadelphia Inquirer recently published a story about the real soldier who is featured in the video. His name is name is Bryan Adams, and his real-life story of coming home is one that is common for veterans returning from combat.

In the article Adams tells of returning home from Iraq, after being there in 2005-2006, and realizing how the experience (which included being shot) had changed him.

"When he left the Army, Adams remembered still being 'hyper-alert, constantly on edge and restless. I wasn't interested in the same things,' he said. 'Everyone else was having fun, but I couldn't feel anything. I had no emotions.'"

Fortunately, he got assistance from other veterans on the website communityofveterans.org, a place where fellow soldiers provide help and encouragement on getting through the difficult adjustment problems that are part of transferring from combat to civilian life.

The website emphasizes that the psychological injuries that come from combat are real, they happen a lot, and that there is effective treatment.

Link: Web site helps welcome vets home



IAVA's Legislative Associate Tom Tarantino says no one comes back from combat unchanged. His group pushes Congress to increase the treatment capacity that the VA offers for non-visible injuries. He speaks about it in a CNN interview (below) where it is also stated that 20% of Iraq War veterans have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and that combat veterans under the age of 30 are 6.72 times more likely to be binge drinkers than they would have been otherwise.



Ryan Conklin visited the IAVA headquarters in New York during The Real World Brooklyn.

Ryan Takes A Leak And Other Stories

Another one of The Real World Brooklyn roommates that Ryan Conklin showed his scrapbooks to was JD Ordonez. One evening JD spent some time with Ryan in Ryan's room, looking through the books while Ryan worked on his memoir manuscript. As JD looked through the photos, Ryan told him stories about some of the interesting things that he did while he was in Iraq.

One story was about when Ryan entered the house of Saddam Hussein's cousin, not knowing it was his. At first, Ryan was perplexed from seeing so many photos of Saddam in this particular house. Ryan asked the owner through an interpreter why he had so many images of Saddam. Through the interpreter Ryan found out it was Saddam's cousin. So JD the awed kid asked Ryan if he then killed him. Ryan said no, because no one in the house was doing anything wrong.

Perhaps being used to looking through Architectural Digest, JD also wondered if the house looked nice. Ryan explained that there were no nice houses in Iraq other than Saddam's palaces, but they had all become American bases.

In another story, Ryan told of patrolling in an area all morning and then having a deep-seated need to go wee as soon as possible. It just so happened at this time that his patrol group came upon a cove that Ryan regarded as the most beautiful spot he had ever seen. Accordingly, Ryan then took a wizz on it (perhaps to mark his newly claimed territory?)

An interpreter let Ryan know that the waters were where Saddam would go fishing. However, he explained that it wasn't regular fishing, but rather Saddam blowing fish out of the water by throwing hand grenades into it. Ryan found that to be unsportsmanlike.

JD sat on the bed with Ryan and Ryan told him some of the background on the things in the photos. Ryan pointed to where someone was making fun of an Iraqi soldier with a Walkman. Ryan explained that the thing that was funny about it was the Iraqis were always listening to Michael Jackson. In another photo, Ryan pointed out where someone had used a sharpie to draw a mustache on someone. He told JD that he wasn't kidding when he said all of his buddies like fake mustaches.

JD asked Ryan if was cold at night in Iraq. Ryan answered that out in the open desert, yes, it did get quite cold at night. He explained that that was why soldiers would dig a little pit and then have 4 or 5 of them lay in it, huddling close to keep each other warm while they slept together. JD noted that 4 or 5 guys spooning together in the outdoors under the moonlight would be fun. Ryan laughed at the thought, but given the circumstances of the location and the cold, Ryan let JD know that it wasn't fun for the soldiers at all.

The evening was a good time for Ryan to have some quality time with JD, letting JD know a little bit about what his life as a soldier was like.