While Ryan Conklin was in The Real World Brooklyn, his roommate Chet Cannon would pester him with questions of a sexual nature. Chet is a virginal Mormon who only knows what his Utah Health class has taught him about how his man parts are supposed to function. To prepare himself for the comedy/horror scene that will be his wedding night some day, Chet wanted to gain as as much sex information as he could from Ryan, whom he believed was more knowledgeable about naughty things. One time when they were resting in their room, Chet asked Ryan about Ryan's sexual "stamina". He meant, how long could Ryan go before he would have to blow. Chet wishfully and suggestively said, "I just hope you give as much as you require."
Ryan wasn't sure how to answer that since as he pointed out his only sexual partner was his hand (which probably was too tired to want to do anything else anyway after the energetic Ryan was done).
Chet said, "We [men] don't pack a lot of punch." Ryan retorted, "What are you talking 'we', like you're some part of [the]team, dude?" Exasperated, Ryan called attention to that fact that Chet still has a v-card (or more appropriately a b-card) and that only after it is swiped can Chet talk about such things like they actually applied to him.
Chet worried that the first time he was unclothed with another person he would not be able to get to the point of going "downstairs" before he would shoot the loot. He compared himself to an "agitated pop bottle" that has not had the benefit of frequent masturbation like Ryan has.
Ryan referred to Chet as "One Pump Chump", which Chet smiled and acknowledged as a suitable moniker, while sadly crying on the inside. Ryan continued to laugh at his frustrated friend.Chet then changed the subject, barely, to talk about a "friend" of his that had erectile dysfunction. Chet believed it came from consuming "questionable proteins". Ryan joked that Chet would be like that also because Chet's penis "wears scarves".
Chet gamely stuck up for himself, saying, "I know I will be a good lover. I know I will. Because I care so much about the other person."
Ryan tried to be tactful given the circumstance but still show his confusion about whether or not Chet was trying to sell himself to Ryan or not. "Alright, Bro. My God! {Are you sure] you're NOT gay?!?"
Chet tried one more time to convince Ryan that he, Chet, would be a worthwhile bed partner: "I care what the other person's feeling, even more than I care about myself and how I'm doing. I'm selfless." With that last absurdity, Ryan burst out laughing and Chet slinked away to recover from his embarrassment.
