Ryan On The Internet

While on The Real World Brooklyn, Ryan Conklin went to see music producer Machine about (hopefully) getting some of his music recorded. The Machine man was happy to meet Ryan but he was confused about why he couldn't find any information about Ryan on the internet. Machine works with artists that are established to some degree, so he didn't understand why or how someone was coming to see him who didn't have any online references.

Ryan explained that what little he had of himself on the net, he had purposely disguised during the taping of the show. He had renamed himself on Facebook and MySpace to avoid being found by Real World fanatics looking for scoop.

Ryan then went on to mention his time spent in Iraq and how he had received a guitar as a gift from an anonymous Wisconsinite. Machine interjected that he had seen something about a Ryan Conklin smashing a guitar in Iraq (which Ryan acknowledged was him), so he had found at least one mention of Ryan on the internet.

A dramatic, instrumental injury to his beloved guitar was enough to cause Ryan to get a result on Google, although it was not near as much visibility as some have gotten from a lip-sync of Numa-Numa or Barbie Girl. BTW, if anyone has a covert tape of Ryan lip-synching either of these songs or any song by Abba from their Voulez-Vous or Arrival albums, name your price. jk

Fast forward several months and now there are plenty of sites mentioning Ryan Conklin on the net, like (ahem) the one you are reading. But what you don't get to see, gentle reader, is where all the people who come here are from. During the day the hits are from every company imaginable with people killing time on the clock. Our government agencies get in on it too, especially for some reason the House of Representatives. Ryan has either an intern or a Congressman as a big fan. Overnight, Americans traveling around the world continue to search on Ryan using their hotel internet connection.

Then, every once in awhile, there is that blip that stands out. A hit from a location that matches where Ryan should be at that time. I think, Ryan is that you again checking up on yourself? Me watching Ryan watching me watching Ryan.

Sadly, it must be mentioned that Machine smashed Ryan's immediate hopes like a six-stringer on the Iraqi sands. Ryan had told him that he wasn't sure what his style was or what his long term music goals would be. Machine told him frankly that being a musician was something that you had to be certain of and not something to be approached casually or on a whim. He also told Ryan that he should build a following before he ever approached a music producer again.

A following? Done. However, Ryan should forgo recorded music. It's clear he enjoys performing live and that's what he should spend time doing. He can travel around the country and bring that quirky, entertaining Ryan vibe to all the people that want to see him perform. If he takes requests, I guess Abba's "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme" would be too much to ask for, so maybe I would just settle for "I Have A Dream".